Let's Go Shopping!

So last night I finally forced myself, kicking and screaming and cussing, to go and use the treadmill in the other building where I work. As a bonus, I don't think I did anything dysfunctional in front of the company president who was using the elliptical on the other side of the room. Strange how every time I force myself out of my cubicle lately he's always there, whether it's the cafeteria or exercise room. You'd think the position of president would have a job description other than "stalk Tom", but hey maybe it's just coincidence. Of course, coincidence isn't nearly as entertaining as stalking, but that's not what this post is really about.

My running career is currently being limited by my inability to go shopping. It works like this: To meet my goals I need to be able to run long distances in most any weather. But, I don't have the equipment and apparel needed to do this. And finally, I'm having trouble acquiring such things because I'm bad at shopping, even by guy standards. Let me put it this way, it was only about a year ago that I rediscovered these things called ATM machines that can give you cash when you need it. I've also heard a rumour that a credit card can be used at places other than gas stations and auto parts stores.

So it is that I've started to go shopping for the first time in my married life, and sometimes I don't even drag the wife along. While I have managed to buy two pairs of running shoes (look for that story in a future blog entry), it's still a bit awkward. I'm not quite sure what I need or even what's available. So I browse the stores looking at what's for sale, trying to convince myself that people aren't staring at me. Of course, with the economy being the way it is, the people who work in these stores don't have much else to do but stare. Or worse, try and help you. I can just picture the conversation:

clerk: "May I help you?"
Tom: "Ehhhhh" (( don't panic Tom )) "I'm getting into running and need some clothes"
clerk: "Is there anything in particular you're looking for?"
Tom: "Well, my thighs chafe something awful from the sweat and the rubbing, do you have any underwear or bike shorts that might prevent that?"
clerk: "We do, and I'd recommend you start by looking in the men's clothing department, and thank you so much for the mental image of your sweaty thighs rubbing together."