Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Day 418, Update and a New Hobby

Quick Update

It’s been a while since I’ve posted and the delay has been for a variety of reasons, but mainly there hasn’t been much news to report and I don’t quite know how to follow up my half marathon.  That was an epic day, as the race perfectly lined up with an ebb in my symptoms and side effects as well as ideal running weather.  How can I top that?  What could I possibly do that would be TWICE as good as a HALF marathon?  That not-so-subtle hint will need to lay fallow through the winter, as my body needs an off season to recover from the rigors it gets put through when the weather is more conducive to outdoor activity.

That half marathon was epic.  Too bad my joy and excitement in running the race didn't come across in the photos.

If you listen to me recently, you’ll get a tale of woe.  My sacroiliac joint hurts.  My toe feels like a string is tied around it.  I’m tired and need a nap.  I have mild nausea sometimes.  In summary, I’m just a giant ball of symptoms and low-grade side effects with subtle hints of overuse injuries, seasoned with a touch of seasonal depression.

If you listen to my wife, you’ll get an entirely different story.  Not long ago I was wandering the house grumbling that I couldn’t find my glasses or something.  She only saw that I had the energy to get upset about such things, and had the flexibility and strength to fly up the stairs two at a time.  I’m grumpy, while she’s over the moon with delight seeing how easily I’m moving about these days.  It was only a year ago that it was agonizingly painful to bend over the sink to spit out my toothpaste.

My memory is certainly selective.  When I think back to chemotherapy, I remember my PSA and ALP dropping in my blood tests.  I remember the love and support of friends and family.  I remember putting in some very lackluster runs at the indoor track and blowing people’s minds in the process.  You’d think it was the best time of my life, which in a way it was, if you ignore the digestive issues, severe fatigue, joint pain, lack of appetite, hair loss, flu like symptoms, injection site reactions, and probably a host of other things I conveniently don’t remember.

For my own benefit, let me recap what I did during Thanksgiving week.  This was a week where I had a number of days off from work, and was also the week before my most recent side-effect inducing Xgeva shot, meaning the side effects from the previous shot were minimal.

  • While out on a run, spontaneously decided to see how fast I could run a single mile, and got my answer about 8:12-ish later.  Not sure what to make of that.  It’s slow for a dedicated runner, fast for a non-runner, and unthinkable for most metastatic cancer patients.
  • Rotated the tires on my pickup truck.  I call it cross training.  Lots of laying down on the concrete to position the jack, stand up and walk to get a tool, lift a heavy tire, etc.
  • Run the annual Thanksgiving 5K for the twelfth year in a row, in under 30 minutes.  See comments about my single mile time above.
  • Move, cut, and split firewood, both for the wood stove and while burning brush outside.  More cross training.
  • Tried to run/walk for 3 or more hours in bitterly cold weather with a strong wind.  Came up a bit short of that goal, but it was part of setting a weekly mileage high for 2019 at around 35 miles.  If you squint, it looks like I'm testing the waters before committing to something longer than a half marathon.
  • Cleared a number of downed trees from our path through the woods, including one that was about 40’ tall, and about 14” around at the base that fell straight down the path.  I honestly didn’t expect to have the stamina to finish this job.

During this week, the thought "conduct unbecoming a cancer patient" frequently popped into my head.  In fact, a smarter person than I might even suspect a causal link between that list and the aches, pains, and fatigue I'm complaining about at the moment.  Perhaps side effects aren't the only explanation.

Of course, I also try to take time to rest and relax.  Put the headphones on and drift away with the music.  Perhaps even rub the cat's belly.

Cancer is my Hobby

Cancer is my new hobby.  I read about it constantly.  I talk with people online about it.  I’m always on the lookout for new things that may help in the battle.

Many readers of this blog have told me I should write a book, and that is on my to-do list, but I don’t yet feel fully qualified to write authoritatively about cancer.  There is much to learn, and my story becomes more compelling the longer I live.  My first year was about surviving and beating back the beast.  My second year is shaping up to be about learning to live with the disease and ongoing treatment for a long time to come.  Surviving cancer is in many ways more difficult than being diagnosed with cancer.  It involves returning to the business of normal life with the sword of Damocles hanging over your head.

Last night I watched “The C-Word” on Netflix.  I highly recommend it even though I don’t completely agree with some of the details in the movie.  The general premise is that since lifestyle can be a contributor to cancer, it also means that changes in lifestyle can help fight cancer.  It’s a great message that there are things everybody can do to reduce their chances of developing cancer.  Of course, the specifics of those lifestyle changes are not as universally agreed upon as the film would have you believe.

I’ve also been reading “The Emperor of all Maladies” about the history of cancer.  This is also highly recommended, though I’m only a short way into the book so far.  As horrific as the modern experience of living with cancer may be at times, it’s a far cry from what happened over a century ago.  Surgery to remove tumors was tried before there were more recent developments like antibiotics and anesthesia.  Surgeons were advised not to be disheartened by the screams of their patients during the operation.  And here I am complaining about the need to take naps for a week or two after my monthly shot.

4 comments:

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  2. I am so happy for you! I understand the aches and pains better than most without cancer might because of the MonSter. (That, by the way, is what those of us battling Multiple Sclerosis call the hideous disease attacking us!)

    It's hard to stay objective when things you used to take for granted are suddenly hard, or painful. I admire everything that you've done and your positive attitude is inspirational!

    By the way, Missy Mae sends her regards to Sootie! (I did get his name right, didn't I?)

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    1. Yep, his name is Sooty/Sootie. He recognizes his name to the point he'll stop moving when he hears it, but he won't come unless there's food involved, in which case he's already there.

      It's still hard to believe that the same cat that would go running to hide at my father in law's house is out in the open demanding belly rubs now.

      Oh, and he has to work on his hiding skills. The last time we had friends over, he hid behind the couch they were sitting on. A while later we all saw a black streak leaving the room.

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  3. With cancer, as with life generally, a positive attitude always beats all alternatives. Lots of things in life knock us back a few steps or more, but the thrill you describe of running to catch up where you left off is real and is the well-deserved reward for living life to its fullest.

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